Who's Been Sleeping In My Bed?

This woman is definitely not Goldilocks.

A Shively couple came home to find "a ransacked house and a naked stranger sleeping in their bed," according to WHAS 11.

Police say 29-year-old Brooke Basham was heavily intoxicated on oxycodones, crack cocaine, heroin and alcohol.

They say she broke in and ransacked the house throwing food on furniture and the floor before she passed out naked.

No word yet on whether the woman is a Birther. Clearly, she was not wearing either a Swastika or a Brooks Bros. suit.

This is why Members of Congress should hold town halls: people need a place to go at night, sort of like Midnight Basketball.