So Which Country Would Kentucky Join?

A supposedly respected Russian analyst, who 10 years ago predicted the collapse of the U.S. economy, now says that America will break apart into six or more little countries.

Professor Igor Panarin told Izvestia that the failure of investment banks, U.S. debt and tough times for the auto industry convince him that the end of America is near.

He also cited the "vulnerable political setup", "lack of unified national laws", and "divisions among the elite, which have become clear in these crisis conditions."

That "vulnerable political setup" would be the constitution -- the framework of the longest functioning democracy in the history of the world. That "lack of unified national laws" would be federalism, which has allowed us to survive this long. Those "divisions among the elite" would refer to that consequence of free speech: differences of opinion.

He predicted that the U.S. will break up into six parts - the Pacific coast, with its growing Chinese population; the South, with its Hispanics; Texas, where independence movements are on the rise; the Atlantic coast, with its distinct and separate mentality; five of the poorer central states with their large Native American populations; and the northern states, where the influence from Canada is strong.

He even suggested that "we could claim Alaska - it was only granted on lease, after all." (Note to Igor: Sarahcuda may have something to say about that.)

Now as to those six parts, I don't see where Kentucky fits. We are on Eastern Standard Time (barely) and we do have a "distinct and separate mentality." But I fear that those snobs in East may not want us to join their country. They may not even want Upstate New York. If the Atlantic states are in a different country from the "northern states,"the Atlantic country will probably set its border somewhere around Westchester County.

Does the esteemed professor deem Kentucky one of the five "poorer central states with their large Native American populations"? Kentucky is a poor state, no question. We did have Native Americans at one point, before we drove them west. Consequently, we have a governor who likes gambling but no reservations with casinos. As best I can tell, only the park system in Louisville and the names of a few high schools hearken back to that Native American influence. I don't see Kentucky in the Native American Republic.

Perhaps we fall in the "South with its Hispanics." We are sort of Southern, at least around Derby time. And Kentucky's Hispanic population is on the rise.

Kentucky does not fit neatly into any of the professor's categories. That could be because Kentucky truly is sui generis. Or it could be that the Russian prof does not know we exist: plainly, our "sister city" of Perm, Russia has not been pulling its weight.

If and when the end comes, therefore, we need to form our own Republic. President of Kentucky -- now that would be a fun election.