GQ Profile Finally Makes it to Print

And now, for the printed version. Jason Zengerle, the journalist who introduced us to "Aqua Buddha" can finally autograph the hard copy of his Rand Paul profile in GQ. Those who want to hear more about what Rand did back in the day will be disappointed: Zengerle adds nothing of substance to the extended "dance mix" of his earlier profile.

Plainly, Paul sells magazines. GQ took its online profile by Zengerle from August 9 -- the big Aqua Buddha expose -- and retooled it for the actual version of GQ that gets printed on paper and sold on news stands and to subscribers.

The newer, printed version includes Zengerle's first-person narrative of his role in making Aqua Buddha a house-hold name. (That is, the journalist covering himself as a player.)

Not much else is new, certainly nothing to compare with the NoZe Brotherhood at Baylor University. The NoZe Brotherhood, by the way, ironically should make Paul more mainstream in the eyes of the Left. As Zingerle reported in his August on-line piece, one NoZe Brother commented that "'[y]ou could have taken 90 percent of the liberal thinkers at Baylor and found them in this small group.'"

Zengerle portrays Paul as socially awkward -- unable to fit in comfortably with country club Republicans in Fayette County. Paul, however, became a force by presenting himself as different, someone who is not a career politician. So Zengerle's depiction of Paul's inability or unwillingness to schmooze actually makes Paul's point.

The only truly creative take on Paul in this piece is Zengerle's description of Paul's hair: his "Timberlake-esque curls." We've seen thousands of images of Rand Paul this past year, and yet his supposed resemblance to Justin Timberlake had escaped me. It's conjuring disturbing images of Rand Paul hosting Saturday Night Live, Rand Paul as a Mouseketeer with Britney Spears, and Rand Paul singing falsetto.

It is a strange and cruel world when GQ analyzes the hair-style of Rand Paul rather than that of Jack Conway. Conway must be spitting mad. Conway is a man who would love to be profiled in GQ. He probably practiced GQ cover shots in his bedroom mirror, growing up. When women describe a man as "very GQ," they are referring to the look that Jack Conway has so assiduously cultivated, to no avail.

GQ does not profile Conway because not even Conway's hair can save him from irrelevance. For the man who attended the college that was supposedly the inspiration for Tom Wolfe's remarkable I am Charlotte Simmons, Conway is remarkably unremarkable. So the best Conway gets is a passing reference in Rand Paul's profile as the "also ran."

The most recent WHAS-11/Courier-Journal Bluegrass poll conducted by SUSA -- showing the race as supposedly a "dead heat" -- suggests that one of these candidates will lose by a Timberlake-esque hair.